So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
