This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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