i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Randomize
