I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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