yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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