I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
