He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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