I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
