I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
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