Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
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