i just google imaged poop.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
