beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
