you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
