3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
