Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
