She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Ketchup is God's man juice
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
