It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Randomize
