Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
wow bdsm is so cute
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
