quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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