Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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