I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
