I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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