My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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