i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
You ruined the universe
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize