did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
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