actually, I'm a sock model
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
