Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
