After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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