Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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