Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
