I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
