Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
