She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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