If i come over, it means nothing
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Randomize
