She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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