okay pat passed out under dana's car
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
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