Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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