I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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