Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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