Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
