I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Randomize
