is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
