You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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