maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I don't think brook has ever known best
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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