Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
