who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
