Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize