When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
