Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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