I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
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