highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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