I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
operation harelip BJ is a go
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
