theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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