so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
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