Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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