I looked at my own cervix.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
