we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
