he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
birth control should be required to get into college
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
