I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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