Quick, to the slutcave!
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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