Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
