i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
