I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
